Failure: how to learn from it and transform it into personal growth

What does it really mean to fail?

Failure. A frightening word.
We all like to do things well, or perhaps what we're really looking for is recognition from those around us. Sometimes, even when we do things correctly, the result isn't what we expected, and we feel like we've "failed": failing an exam, not getting a job interview, not having a group of lifelong friends, breaking up with a partner, or not receiving a surprise birthday party.

Is that really a failure? Or are the norms established by society pointing the finger at us when we don't meet expectations?

Academic and professional failure

We are not the result of an exam, nor what a Human Resources interviewer thinks. We are much more than that.
The problem is not a lack of value, but being in the wrong place to have our contributions recognized.

Think about it: if we pass our driving test on the fifth try, will we drive worse than someone who passed on the first try? No. And if we don't get that "dream" job, so perfect in appearance, does that mean we've failed? Not at all.

Academic or professional failure does not define who you are. It only defines a specific situation.

Learn from failure with perseverance

If you want something, you have to work for it and persevere, not give up at the first sign of trouble when someone tells you "you're worthless".
When I was eight, my teacher told me I wouldn't be cut out for studying. However, I passed all my courses, finished secondary school, high school, vocational training, and then university. Without repeating a year, with perseverance and by believing in myself.

Just because something is difficult doesn't mean you can't achieve it. That's where resilience and the ability to learn from failure come into play.

Emotional failure

We often associate failure only with material or measurable things. But emotional failure also exists.
If I don't go to see my grandfather on Sundays to keep him company, am I failing as a human being?
If I'm not honest with someone I care about, for fear of what others will say, aren't I wasting an opportunity to strengthen an authentic relationship?

Emotional failure hurts more because it touches what is unseen: the connection with others and with ourselves.

Redefining failure

Failure will always be a part of life. Perhaps we should replace that word with a less harsh one: it's not that you've failed, it's that you haven't succeeded yet.

What matters is not the fall, but what you learn along the way and what you are able to contribute to others as you grow.

And you, how do you understand failure? As an end or as an opportunity for personal growth?